The Complementarity of the Sexes
Booring....but anyway, at each point of complementarity based on a hetero sort of difference within marriage there is something missing in homosexuality. First things first, you would not be reading this if not for the complementarity of the sexes. The complementarity of the sexes at the root of Romance, civilization, etc., is not something easy to deny or obfuscate.
Some things that will or may be missing,
"Involved fathers typically initiate more active play and are more tolerant of physical exploration by infants than mothers....In their efforts to encourage infant competence, mothers are generally more concerned with verbal-intellectual teaching, whereas fathers are more oriented toward active, arousing play and fostering autonomy and independence."
(Henry B. Biller, Father and Families:
Paternal Factors in Child Development,
Auburn House, Westport, Connecticut, 1993)
In a study of 42 families of young children, mothers were more likely to use indirect forms of communication such as questions, directives, and suggestions, while fathers tended to use direct forms of communications such as imperatives. Mothers in the study were found to be less direct and tried to elicit compliance and cooperation from their children. Fathers in the study offered a model of directiveness and self assertion. In measures of compliance or obedience toward their mothers and fathers, although girls did not differ in their rates of compliance to mothers and fathers, boys showed higher levels of compliance to their fathers than to their mothers.
(Thomas G. Power, Marianne McGrath, Sheryl O. Hughes, and Sarah H. Manire, "Compliance and Self-Assertion:Young Children’s Responses to Mothers Versus Fathers," Developmental Psychology, 30 (1994): 980-989)
"The author puts play in a central position in his model, as central to fathering as nurturance to mothering, and then ascribes an essential function to it, that of opening the child up to the world, as essential to development as providing a sense of security. The author presents the case that the unique aspects of father child play make positive contributions to early development."
(Do Fathers Just Want to Have Fun? Commentary on Theorizing the Father-Child Relationship
By Roggman, Lori A.)
"...the security of the boy's attachment to his mother, in providing the foundation for a transitional turning to an 'other', and the mother's capacity to reflect upon and recognize her own, as well as the father's and her son's, subjectivity and maleness, are crucial in comprehending boys' 'attachment-individuation' process. Likewise, the unconscious paternal and maternal imagos and identifications of both the boy's mother and father, as well as the father's pre-oedipal relationship with his little boy and the boy's mother, are extremely significant in shaping a son's gender identity. The author argues that these early maternal (and paternal) identifications live on in every male and continue to impact the sense of maleness in a dialectical interplay throughout the life span."
(The shaping of masculinity: Revisioning boys turning
away from their mothers to construct male gender identity
By Michael J. Diamond
International Journal of Psychoanalysis
Vol 85(2), Apr 2004, pp. 359-379)
Note the issue of gender identity disorder and homosexuality, they go together. On the issue of gender identity development, there is evidence that boys resent their mom's (typically masculine) lesbian partner.
It is only in the case of homosexuality where Americans have beeen conditioned to begin to make special exceptions. Pediatricians will argue that there is "no difference" between homosexuality and heterosexuality when it comes to parenting and then they will list "special challenges" faced by gay parents. The average person also tends to believe in some cultural scripts in which homosexuality is treated as a special form of sexuality. For example, no matter how "oriented" a man is by the sexual orientation he was born with to sleep with many different women, people will not make excuses for him and the impact his promiscuity or divorce will have on his children. Yet thanks to a lot of positive emotional conditioning and the cultural creation of some patterns of memes, if the man "comes out" as gay instead of promiscuous and divorces, makes the same mess, etc., he is just being "true to himself" or some such. For otherwise, he would have been "living a lie." Are we all "living a lie" if we do not self define by and act on our sexual desires? Somehow people have come to the position of saying that their own sexual desires define what is true, ethical and moral. That is absurd. Yet that is what they are saying. Unfortunately, sexual desires do not define what is true for children, nor do they really define much of anything. They're not "who you are." They don't define your whole life. Nor will the world come to an end if you are not defined and ruled by your sexual desires.
People are coming to the position of denying basic biosocial realities and natural categories such as male and female, men and women, masculine and feminine, instead focusing on their own self-definitions, sexual desires and the like. It cannot work. (Note that even self-defined gays are still admitting to basic natural categories when they say that they are oriented only to males or females.)
A general summary of what sound research will always show,
"The attributes of mothering and fathering are inherent parts of sex differentiation that paves the way to reproduction. This is where the sociology analogy so often drawn between race and sex breaks down in the most fundamental sense. Genetic assimilation is possible through interracial mating, and we can envisage a society that is color blind. But genetic assimilation of male and female is impossible, and no society will be sex-blind."
(American Sociological Review, Vol. 49,
No.1, Feb., 1984.
Gender and Parenthood
By Alice S. Rossi :10)
In the end, I am only restating in academic terms what the electorate has already voted for again and again. Marriage....